Selene Knight (knightsaline) wrote,
Selene Knight

more zombie posts

I kind of got inspired from the last post about zombies. i also have a book called "the zombie survival guide", which details the four types of zombie outbreak. here is what they are.

class one: A class one outbreak is usually an outbreak of zombies in a rural area in a first world country or a large outbreak in a third world country. this kind of outbreak is rarely publisised or a passing reference in the news (something like "a rebel uprising in a thirdworld country was quashed by the military") the number of zombies number one to twenty. usually, a class one outbreak can be handled by a group of civilans armed with farm implements.(usually things like scythes, pitchforks and "protection-only" shotguns

class two: a class two outbreak is a larger outbreak of the fleshtide than a class one, this time, in a densly populated rural area. the number of zombies number from 20 to 100. this is where the military start to get involved. if the media is present, the military will doctor the footage to all buggery

class three: a class three outbreak shows us normal people how devestating a fleshtide is. zombie numbers range in the thousands. media blackouts are impossible at this level, as there are too many eyewitnesses. this is where the special units start acting. the duration of this is about 4 to seven months. civilans are advised to stay inside and not answer the door.

class four (AKA doomsday): pray that we never get to  a class four outbreak. this kind of outbreak is where the fleshtide outnumbers the living. this is the kind of outbreak shown in 28 days later. there is no media blackout because there is no media to report it. every living person will be running and hiding.

more techniques for destroying zombies

poison: zombies have no weakness to poison, don't even bother

flamethrower: this is every mans dream, to wade into the fleshtide, armed with a flamethrower. there are any problems with this dream. first off, flamethrowers are illegal for citizens to own. second, if the fleshtide is so severe that a flamethrower is required, the military will be there, leaving the lone hero out of a job, third, flamethrowers are heavy and use special fuel. if you really want to use a flamethrower, use a spraycan and a lighter. the fuel for a flamethrower ceased to be made in the 1970s, when they became illegal for citizens.

holy water, garlic, holy symbols: are you kidding? zombies are not created from black magic rituals, so they would not be repelled by these things. blame hollywood

faith in god: impossible. as stated above, zombies are not created by black magic. blame D&D for this

shaolin spade:  the best weapon for the specialist to use against the fleshtide. a shaolin spade has a bellshaped blade on one end and a cresent shaped blade on the other. merely spinning it around anything living decapitates it. the only problem is that there are only replicas available to the common man.

Katanas: the ever trusty katana. also known as a hand and a half sword, the katana allows the user to decapitate things very easily. like the shaolin spade, the only problem is that only replicas are available to the common man.


close combat weapon:  every zombie hunter needs a close combat weapon. avoid weapons that rely on peircing, like a rapier. these weapons are only good if you can drive it through bone into the brain. maces and other blugdeoning weapons are alright, as long as you can lift the things and carry them for long amounts of time. slicing weapons are the preferred weapon of zombie hunters, as they can decapitate zombies easily.

ranged weapons: go for a shotgun. carry plenty of shells. blast the motherfuckers in the face.

food: carry non perishable food with you. eat only that or food you have seen where it comes from. in the case of a class four outbreak, grow your own food.

maintainance: always carry things that can maintain your weapons. an ill cared for weapon can fail you while in the middle of a fleshtide.
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